Welcome To My Life..

I'm 53 and never married. 3 proposals. The first one was at 27 when I had a perfect body; I don't anymore in case you're wondering. He used to leave, say he was going to the store for cigarettes and return 3 hours later. Hmm, that's odd. Turns out he was a crack addict trading sexual favors to get high. I know what you're thinking, quite a catch. The 2nd one had a real job. He was a film composer, uh, ghost writer in L.A. I moved there in 1989, lived with him for 3 years. He proposed but said I couldn't tell anyone. No, I didn't love him. Now the last one, that was different. Not because he was a great guy because as it turns out, he wasn't. The beginning was incredible, (the setup) then he became controlling to the point where I couldn't change the radio stations in the car. He would twist my words into something I couldn't even recognize and then ignore me for a week because I hurt him. When he proposed, things were still good. It's a shame he didn't tell me he was already married to someone else. He must've forgotten.

This last relationship is what brought me to blogging. I needed a place where I could speak freely, where I didn't have to watch every word I said, where I could just be me. Was hoping it would've been in a relationship, but it never was. My path was leading me somewhere else. (I hate when that happens.) Oh, before I forget, I said the last one was different; he was. Because this one I loved. I don't know what makes us love one person and not another. Do you? Anyway, since we've been apart, my life has been peaceful. I got a dog. And writing has always been my passion. So, here I am, sharing my life with the world. Scary? No. For the first time, I am saying what I really think. What I really feel. And for me, there's no greater freedom.